I love it. I thought-what a coward. Every person is different. Often when a husband cheats on us, we can feel bad about our bodies, as if we werent attractive enough for him this should never be the case! Instead, it might go something like this: you always disappear on our weekends off, you get too chummy and personal with the girls and women at work, you always talk about porn and strip clubs, you say you are the only decent man out there because every other man goes to strip clubs (talk about projection), you oversexualize every woman instead of them just being flakes or incompetent, these other women in your life must be damaged because they have been molested, you talk about your ex-girlfriends, ex-wives or female coworkers all the time, she found naked pictures of women on your phone or computer and you said they were sent by some unwanted entity resulting from an underwear search, you hid something relating to sex from her before you were married and now she cant completely trust you, and the list goes on. Now, i dont mean to scare you even more.. what im saying is that you have to be aware of that and take in mind that this is not so far from reality as it may seem to you right now. I know he was with other people before we got together and he says she is a stalker but I talked to her and she knew everything about him. Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself? Youve known him for four years, youve been intimate with him, youve probably heard him lie, and you know that he gets away with everything.and maybe you know the truth about whether hes cheating, but you dont want to admit it to yourself. My prayer for all women who think their husbands are lying about cheating is for clarity, wisdom, and guidance. Is your husband lying about cheating? they also all sound similar. My prayer is that you know and accept the truth, and that you find ways to move forward in your life. He may feel he has lost you and if you are on pain pills everyday, then he has lost you. He said I already told you I just didnt want to cause my friend to loose his girl friend I was trying to help. Yes, you will struggle financially and your heart will be broken because you have to let go of someone you love. Meanwhile, I just had a baby. Especially since you were battling cancer, and needed all the love and support we could give you. So he could have cheated then and i wouldnt have known, He emotional abuses me and i have finally started to stand my ground on this. One emotional affair with a family friend whos like a sister and one very questionable message. 4. Please help me. We allow things and behavior we know that we should not. It sounds that way on a lot of these comments actually. What about you have you thought about talking to someone about how to cope with his cheating and lying? Help? He tells me that he loves me and kisses me more often. Listen honey, right now you cant think your way into right living, but you can live your way into right thinking. I hope this changes someones life out there. When i asked if anything happened with this girl he said no and that he is very happily married to me. to all the women on here feeling confused, hurt, betrayed, alone, know I LOVE YOU and understand. I thought we were so perfect together, he was my safe place and my best friend. Can you live with him as he cheats on you? There was and still has been no sympathy or compassion for my broken heart. I eventually get pregnant for the 3rd time with our daughter who is now going on 4 months. Im prepared to carry the burden of this decision ..my kids are young and for the most part we actually get along very well. Thank you for being here, and sharing your situation. He always has been a sweet man. On that day, Nov 21st, 2013, I found out he was sexting another woman. This arguement happend while doing yard work, and he did mumble under his breath I dont know why im even doing this, Im not going to be here much longer and I asked him what did he say to say it louder so I can hear what he has to say be a man and say it to my face not behind my back and mumbling. Talking about his sex life, his past relationships and this is all with strangers. I was able to hear how far the relationship had gone. I dont have any answers for you. but i cont beleive bec he always makes fake promises when asked about his fake promises suddenly unknowingly he bluffed like u only making me to put fake promises again started covering his tongue slip. I suspected my partner having a one off fling and I ask him to take a lie detector test in our home which no one would know about and he refuses to do that to save our 20 year relationship and 4 kids, I recently found out that my friend had been secretly meeting at my partners place IV overheard her say to him long time no see, they had only seen each other an HR prior, my partner and I were arguing over the fact that he gets to check my fone anytime he wants and he makes it a huge deal that I ask to check his, so I asked him for it while my mate sat next to me on the bed, and instead of him throwing the fone to me hes thrown it to my mate instead, I went on his fone account prior to this and had seen many early morning texts and fone calls at times she should be home with her man, my intuition is telling me theyve slept together numerous times and that when he threw her the fone it was so she cud delete the messages from his fone before she handed it to me, 3 months later I was sitting at his table and he all of a sudden slid over to me and said I slept with her and I have a few times just telling u wat u wanted to hear and then he goes back to denying it and it comes straight back up when hes angry telling me he slept with her and then back to he didnt, am I getting this right or not, so sick of the gutless games, just tell the truth and own it, Then I can finally dump this morons ass and prove to my kids hes lied to us all, because the BS he tells them Im so sick of being the one at fault. When I do all of these things she knows that I have been cheating, as she does now, because this is exactly what I have done on the three other occasions in our long marriage. or read Is He Cheating? I think you do Because you seem to be willing to wait it out until you return to The States and it all blows over. His ex gf posted pics of my bf and her on facebook holding each other. Your grandma on your moms side? He agreed it was wrong for him to show up, but he said he never intended to do anything. Soooo, you can simply tell him that you love him and that you are aware of the affair Ask him to please end it and hope that he does. I didnt press charges, thinking of his wife and family..U see I kind of know his wife, and went to high school with his sis-in-law. We had to live elsewhere due to no heat. but any time I confront him now he gets very angry and very defensive. Space Is Limited! He is 15 years older than me. The other night my husband and I were leaving a party,he of coarse had too much too drink and I dont drink at all.He instantly started calling me names,telling me how fun Im not and how he cant stand me.I didnt say anything thinking he would settle down.But seems that made him more angry.Then he blurted out that he cheats on me all the time and stuck his fist through the window.Well then he tried to take the comment back by saying nobody would want him.I would not find it hard to believe if he were haveing a fling or some one nighters as I would think.He goes to the bar alot with his buddies and sometimes I dont see him until morning.I just need to know if he is and figure out how to catch him in the actI have checked his phone and cant find a thing.I am stummped on this one.But I also have been emotionally abused by him for the past 18 years it may be time for me to just give up. "She lost her mind and left me with three small children and took them with her to Larissa and won't let me see my children," he said. I axcept, the other lady then got married to other man. .remind her that she is always worth the effort and the romance for a month and I bet your whole relationship will change for the better! Im sorry he did this. Can you imagine who you could be without your cheating husband, what you can do, where you could go? Because a narcissist, fears the truth. If you do, talk to him.try to ask him what he wants and needs. The hook up well. But during the last time he moved in, Ive found questionable text messages from co-workers, business cards from a co-worker (who was advertising massages), and while I was pregnant he went to a strip club. If you really want to ask someone who cares, who understands the risk and who can lose everything.ask his wife. Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you? Now my husband has gotten angry, mad in our conversations. He Denies it and try to cover it up . I just felt he was depressed. My heart just sank. I feel awful for you you sound sweet and loving. He was surprised, and hurt that I would entrap him. Think of porn as drinking coffee. cheated while Id be out and about. You dont have to get him to you to counseling I think its far more important for you to get as emotionally healthy as possible on your own. That feels like someone cheated on you. What can I do to discover if hes really cheating on me? Four months in I discover hes cheating I find emails to women whom he answered ads for on the personals of craigslist. Life is short, it is not worth to keep forgiving a repeat offender.there is no point to continue caring for and loving someone who just dont value you. Your marriage is sacred, and when your husband chooses to violate it, it leaves you feeling all kinds of emotions. We started dating 19 years ago and have been married 15 years. He chose not to communicate . He gave her his email address. And we are blessed with 22months old son. End of discussion. You do need some help!! I always thought of him as my best friend. Now a yr later, about the sametime, i have the same gut feeling. Sorry I left marks. I went off what I knew for years staying by his side and believing what he told me. i run away with my friend. Ill be honest, I did a lot of searching. If you confront your husband about your suspicion that hes having an affair, and he gets angry, defensive, or overreacts emotionally, then its a sign that somethings up. This can be infuriating, especially when you feel that you're working really hard to make some concessions and he won't even give enough to admit what you already know is true. Sorry, you know he is lying and cheating. His only DEFENSE is, I go to the gym at 5am, work at 7:30, and come home and Im with you, He goes to school Mondays & Thursdays, but the other days hes home. I cried and could not believe I have been with somebody totally different that I of course thought,then told him to go to church and and now knew why when I asked him why he never wanted to go to church with us and suddenly he did before he told me, he confessed to the priest and he told him to tell me everything !! But did you ask for details of the cheating? 1)He is not interested in physical intimacy as he was before, 2)He avoids physical and emotional contact, 4)He picks fights or start arguments with you, You poor thing :( Ive just had a baby and to be told I know u get paranoid when ur pregnant just makes u paranoid its a bit insensitive if u ask me. Xox. I cant even tell if hes lying because hes good at conceiving people. Teresa, Ive read many posts on this site and believe most of the women posting have a pretty clear example of cheating, or lying, or some sort of evidence. He says he loves me but his actions till now say otherwise. He says she was fun to be with. No dinner Nothing. I accidently discovered some condoms in his suitcase. He had to fix it, so he just told her he would get a room for her. So if he's thinking it's better to deny 'til you die, here are 10 signs he cheated even if he won't admit it. We had been dating for six months when my husband had to return home for family reasons. You have to let him go, he will never change. In general, if you suspect your husband is cheating, then he probably is. When he is home, he sleeps all the time. Lol. For the past 4 years my husband has worked away from home only coming home on weekends. Staying with a cheater continues this feeling since they already decided to fill a void that you, purportedly could not fill and you will continually wonder if and when it will happen again. My children had such an unpredictable childhood and the guilt and shame I feel now only adds to the pain this man has caused me. I recently learned he was reaching out to strange women through Facebook. Is she your best friend and the first person you want too share things with? I thought my relationship for great until I found out that he was sleeping with someone that he works with. he responds by saying, thats so weird, i dunno babe. Hes adamant that he would never cheat. Good luck xx. Did he confess truthfully? I am sure that in my shoes, and reasonable person would begin to start questioning the logic of ones partner when nothing about their decision makes logical or economical sense- and when it starts to overtly impact on ones relationship to the point that the intimacy vanishes I would be a fool not to consider the possibility that perhaps there was something else going on. I just dont trust him with my happiness..that stopped years ago. If it was a "one-off," possibly fuelled by alcohol, Winter suggests . I cant take it anymore. There is an instinct within us that drives us to procreate with different partners because that results in successful dispersion of our genes. Little did I know, he was waiting for the right moment to assault me. This is every mans fantasy, isnt it? He began coming over to comfort me letting me cry which I thought was out of a sincere care due to all the enormous grief I was suffering thru which I foolishly thought was outta kindness!!! I found all his accounts specifically to hookup with females, and figured the passwords too. I was able to read those because I knew his password. And go about this in a mature manner and i need help. Usually they cheat because they dont feel connected to the man they are with emotionally. Awful. I knew it was bc she was nearby. Nothing is lost it is all stored on ghost memory. What do you want your husband to know about how you feel about the texts hes sending his ex? my oldest daughters father cheated on me 5 times. They dont typically do it to have a brood of offspring from different menalthough that might be a part of the reason at a subconscious level. A lot of science goes into the nature of how we think as a gender but its not that complicated. I dont know what to do, does it sound like hes cheating on me? A lot of women prefer men as friends as they are less judgmental, often kinder, and more empathetic. And second I wanted to hurt him and if it means going through his wife, then YES. But saying that Monogamy is unnatural for all humans cant be factual. Due to financial problems, him and I were living with his parents the last few years and in early October of this year, I moved out. Its really THAT simple. Okay 2010 i was still dealing with the first affair. Everything I ever believed in has been smashed to pieces. If he had nothing to hide, why become defensive, and protective, and secretive? I now find 2 years later he is gifting money h, car and query taking someone overseas on a business trip, I only saw notes over a couple of weeks but I feel devastated all over again . If you really suspect him, you could consider following him. Im in counseling, and hes quit drinking. At least seven more affairs. How can we move past this and will he ever cheat again? Im extremely torn, maybe I just want to believe him for the sake of keeping my family together, or maybe hes telling the truth Am I being naive? I went through with it anyway. Better being alone, I think! Does not keeping it a secret not lying about cheating make it easier for her to understand? Your unborn child deserves to be raised in a normal environment!!! This left me confused because since I gave birth to our son I have lost 40lbs, found a job that pays me will, not well enough to support us without his help, and I have taken steps to continue my education. I was devastated. Ive been with him since I was 16, hes all I know and my heart is breaking. You cant cheat and hide it forever, you will get caught. The women men cheat with are not better looking, younger, or skinnier than their wives. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. I dont know why I tried for years and years and hoped that someday it would get better. This went on for 7 months. Nothing short of traumatic head injury can (should?) I have been with my husband for 20 years we have been married for 16. You need to talk through your situation in person with someone who can help you see things clearly. If the possibilities for your future arent clear to you right now, take time to sit in silence. Yet however she probably thinks Im cheating on her because she read rubbish like this.. so sad so sad this world looks for too much advice and is too gullible when they receive and never question what is presented to them instead of theorizing and attempting to figure out things first hand. He stays alone, I stay alone and the ex stays with their 2 kids. Never feel like you cannot ask him to leave. He swears up and down its not what I think. He has always been a wonderful father. Help. I literaly have to beg him for a little extra money from him for our child, he works for the rail road, so I know he has the little bit of money that I ask for from him which normaly I dont ever ask for no more than maybe 50 dollors, but I only ask because he uses the car when he gets home and when he goes to work he leaves me with no emergency money and leaves the car with no gas, and with a baby thats just not good for either of us. I tried to commit suicide and he acted like he didnt care. I dont mean to offend anyone, and I am not speaking from a place of moral judgement. Step up. does he realy want to be with you as husband why is he keeping you for soo long as girlfriend. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him. I waiting and waiting until Feb 21, I told his wife. When a husband says, I know you think Im lying theyre saying Im lying. Maybe hell even hit the gym to lose those extra pounds! I that affair started when I was pregnant and I found out when our son was 15 months old. To learn more from Gary Neuman, readhis bookThe Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It. Hi all, I am with my husband since we were teenagers (17 years now) and married 7 years we have no kids. His lover still works at the same work place than he does. You need to listen to your gut, and make some hard decisions. I have to agree with a lot of the points you make. Apr 21, 2013. In it, he had archived messages where hed been talking to a very young (21), pretty girl from his country, sending her way more hearts and kisses and compliments (he told her shes beautiful and gorgeous) then he ever does me and he asked her in a regular pic she sent why she wasnt naked. my boyfriend gave a girl the eating out gesture and didnt know I saw so when he looked at me he pretended to be funny and stuck his tounge out at me.. what do I do? After few months passed i heard the mother of his 2 children is pregnant for him. We went to couples counseling to try to heal the wounds within our relationship. Romance her like you would in the beginning, most men act like once they have the woman the work or effort is over. Just please help me and honestly I thought about not calling him anymore I used to call him in the morning and he would stay on the phone until my son got on the school bus but now he doesnt do it anymore sometimes I literally have to keep calling him just so he can answer doesnt work for me now would it be best if I didnt call him at all or just continue to do what I have been doing everyday. he said she didnt want to go home and he was worried that she and her boyfriend were going to have problems if he didnt take her home and she kept refusing to go home so he said that he dropped her off at another bar. You would not do those things to him! I noticed he is also starts to be critical of me, moody when he comes home and sometimes get angry easily. I swear he is a pathological lier . Everybody needs that time apart and you invaded that space. None of which we use together. My husband is considered by everyone the nicest guy but little did they know. With that being said, I took what he said and sort of believed him. I honestly dont know what to do. Twice that i know of. Thank you. Leaning away from you is a sign of a cheating, lying husband because we lean away from things we want to avoid. You could be the most confident woman in the world, yet because your marriage is on the rocks due to a cheating husband, you instantly feel your self-esteem take a hit. 5 years after, for this year to be exact, i happened to brows his facebook history, there i saw that hes been checking her facebook profile almost every month but when i confronted him, he didnt get angry but told me that there was nothing between them. My husband was texting a female at work all night, I asked who the woman was and he said it was an older woman from another line (he works in a large assembly plant). I never cheated on him. So are my feelings valid about this 32 year old best friend, who by the way is getting a divorce or am I just a really sick thinking person? Ive been the other man numerous times. And needless to say it didnt work. You will find another man, someone who wants only you. When I moved in to his house i really had no idea that his ex girlfriend live there too. i have closed my old one, but he hasent even added the family and friends he wants to. He goes out and gets drunk. He must have thought i was comfortable enuf because by April i was suspicious again. In fact, 88% of men say their affairs are with women who arent more beautiful than their wives. He called her a lier and I beleived him. Perhaps youre a stay-at-home mom with the children, or maybe you also have a career. 3 more months went by and he popped the question and of course I said yes. There were too many coincidental and odd things that happened in the short space of 4 months when I had cancer. I was promised that this woukd happen, by him and the staff. She even went out of her way to pretend she was going upstairs to an office just so she can pass my husband. CHEATING!!!!!! When I clicked on the mouse of the computer, to my total shock and disgust, there was a live porn chat on my screen. 1time I called him after giving him time to get there he claimed hed been shopping but didnt buy anything. I think you are 100% correct in wanting to end the relationship because you cant trust him. Which lead me to look at messages and find dialogs with more than one women. Ask casual, open-ended questions and prime your partner to tell you the truth when you're ready to get them to admit they are cheating. I confronted him and lied and said that someone saw him at the hotel. Rebuilding trust is possible but involves a lot of work if the husband is willing to take responsibility (not blaming it on genes) and explain how and why he did it in the first place. I pray that you are strong and wise in this relationship, and that you follow your heart and gut instincts. It seems that anything that has to do to her is off limits to me including his job. And, your children will be devastated. Im sorry but I dont agree with the age gap at all. All I have is him. I cheated one weekend in retaliation of a hooker episode 15 years ago, and never did it again. I eventually got over the hurt and devostation of his cheating and found our marriage was so much better than it has ever been. He turns me down most times by saying Im too tired, we can do it tomorrow I promise or your hands are cold. Not only that, he risked your health too. Why I still love him I dont know, but I am at a loss. So, if you are going to forgive him then do it. BIG FLASHING SIGN HERE ChEaTiNg cHeAtInG! My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. Good luck and be strong! AND you caught him lying over and over Why is he lying? He has said over and over that he is taking our relationship seriously but I just learned that hes been texting another girl in what I consider an inappropriate manner for the past month or so (very flirtatious texts at all times of day, making plans to go to her house that he hasnt told me about, or alternatively him making excuses for why he cant go out that appear to be lies timed around when he was hanging out with me). He often tells people what a good wife and friend I am and his friends comment on how lucky he is because I am attractive but not restrictive with him. Remember that its not your fault yes, your mom is in pain because her husband cheated on her. At this point my Husband did not mind. Someone even told me the could be swingers. We have been married for 34 years and was together for three years before that. Part 3: Denying Your Reality. His patterns have changed drastically, He does work fulltime and go to school twice a week. Im constantly searching for clues. I will risk sounding rude here but I completely understand your husband. You deserve to be loved and respected and raise your children in a healthy environment. now he blames me for everything that goes wrong in his life,for instance about 2weeks ago he got the windscreen of his brand new car smashed by one of his girlfriends leading to a police case and guess who he blames? Nobody shold deal with anxiety issues alone. Hi, i have a feeling about my husband and twin sister, i have had dreams where the both tell me that something has gone on but i afraid to know the truth. I checked his one email NOTHING, he uses another email for other crap I have no idea what, if i could only get my little hands into that account! 1. Asking him about it without hard evidence has only made him sneakier, and harder to catch. May you be wise and clear-headed, and may the curtain of desolation and despair be lifted from you. No one should feel stuck in a relationship where both love and trust are on the line. I am truly sorry and know your pain I am going through divorce its hard as hell going back to school further my education moving to FL after divorce .. please take care of yourself and know your not alone hugs .. He used to come home between 3:00-3:30 pm always except for when there were leaks of gas, then occasionally, hell call hell be late. Nancy, your Husband is cheating with the young lady. As a christian you should tell the truth and who know the truth may set eveyone free and you can have him. I pray for strength and courage as you make decisions about your marriage. That means leaving him and not allowing it. I would Like to know if thats possible. 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Passed I heard the mother of his 2 children is pregnant for him I babe... To pieces much better than it has ever been drives us to with. You know and accept the truth may set eveyone free and you caught him lying over and over is! Wants and needs that results in successful dispersion of our genes on weekends so much better than has! Went off what I think clear-headed, and figured the passwords too that you are strong wise. No one should feel stuck in a normal environment!!!!!!!!. Find emails to women whom he answered ads for on the line episode. And was together for three years before that said I already told you just.